Welcome to my page where you will find some of my favorit drawwings, pictures, pieces of art , web sites, and jokes. I hope that you enjoy the things I have to share. Enjoy and if you have a good joke email me and maybe you will see it in writing soon!
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife". "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man "There is more than one type?" "Look around," said the sales lady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras," continued the sales clerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The sales lady replied "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the Jewish type. Which one do you need?" Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?" The sales lady responded "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Jewish type makes mountains out of mole hills."A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy obliges and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving around with the truck full of penguins again. This time, though, all the penguins are wearing sunglasses. The police officer pulls the guy over and says, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?" The guy replies, "I did, and today I'm taking them to the beach." courtesy of www.funnyjokes.comreturn
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic crone says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'." Since the fourth Catholic woman always sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" Finally she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied stripper. When he walks into a room women say, 'Oh my God'." A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room. There they found a strange-looking woman sitting at the door's entrance. "Welcome to the ladies room," she said. "Be sure to check out our newest feature - a mirror which will award you one wish if you look into it and make a truthful statement. But, be warned, if you say something false you'll be sucked into the mirror and you'll live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!" The three women were intrigued so they gave it a shot. The brunette looked into the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three girls." Instantly, the brunette was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three girls." Suddenly, the red head found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands. Excited about the possibility of having her wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. "If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. "If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. "If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. "That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the flight attendants. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!" An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you expect to get into Heaven when you're so mischievous all the time?" Little Johnny remarked, "Well, I'll just run in and out, and in and out, and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Johnny, either come in or stay out!'"